I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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