they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
