Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
