Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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