I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
