I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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