That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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