New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
