I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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