U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
