i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
