we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
