I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
