I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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