Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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