So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
