pop tarts are not kleenex
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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