I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
