So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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