It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
did i just pee glitter
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
