I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
