Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
