Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Randomize
