I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize