he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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