Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
