Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
