You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
