capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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