He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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