Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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