dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sorry about my life...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
