can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
