I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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