Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
