Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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