Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
