I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
