OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
