I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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