jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
