apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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