i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
