in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she looked like the before picture.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize