well I can't set my house on fire every night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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