Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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