Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
