Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize