Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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