Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
