I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
