Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
