he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize