anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i love accidental penises.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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