that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
