Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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