the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
