There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
