he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
