just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
