so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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