He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
