Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
