giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
