I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
