I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
