You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
