If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
