Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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