Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
