I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
