I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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